Outspoken Male Allies
Dainton is a Project Manager and CEO of several passed IT business and he created in the past an organization to help more black women get involved in IT.
The person that has inspired me is Lucya Spencer. Ever since I’ve met her she’s been my moral compass. She guided me in many professional and personal directions my life has taken.
She was the Executive Director of the Immigrant Women Services Ottawa. To me she was just sister Spencer, someone I had met at church until one day she decided that I was her project. I had some family issues I had to deal with and one day she just swooped in and said, ‘stop worrying’. Ever since, I’ve been on her radar, wherever I was in the world. If she had spent 2 months without hearing from me, I would inevitably receive an email or phone call. Where are you? How are you doing?
When I came back to Ottawa in 2007, she basically said I need your help. I need someone to come here and take over our IT department. That’s when I was introduced to the struggle of immigrant women, particularly in Canada. Especially women who came from abusive situations or came from environments where they had to flee with their children, whether it be war, famine or just some types of issues we don’t normally see in Canada.
Over the years, from 2007 until February 15, 2017–10 years of my life–she has always been there. She’s shown me how to tackle some of the most difficult things with dignity, with a certain kind of poise that I haven’t been able to see in anyone, in any spheres of life. The dignity with which she carried herself and how she addressed individual on some very serious matters, whether it be the mayor of Ottawa, whether it be members of parliament, members of the senate, it didn’t matter who they were. There was a certain dignity in the way she spoke with them. It commanded their attention, it demanded their respect. I find that no greater lessons have been applied to my life as to how I interact with individuals.
It also allowed me to see the inequality that exists in our society, especially when immigrants are concerned. (I spent the last 10 years of my life within an organization that is very focused on that particular topic, so I may have a certain bias to that). I understand the immigrant life from a male perspective, a black male perspective yes.
But there is a deeper struggle that women face, especially those from minority groups that come to Canada. Not only do most women who come here have children, but a lot of time they are single mothers with two or three kids trying to figure out a foreign country while being faced with systemic racism, language barriers, economical barriers, that I believe men are sort of shielded from because they are expecting that yes you come to a foreign country, yes, you have to train and to do this and that.
They are expecting you to go to work and make a living whereas for women it’s a little more daunting because they have to answer questions like who’s gonna take care of my kids; especially when you come from cultures where families are usually involved into the whelm of your child. You leave your child with your aunt, your gran’ma. When those structures do not exist anymore, who do you turn to? I find that the organization that Spencer created spoke to that need. That’s why it still exists 25 years later. There’s that need that has been identified and it hasn’t gone away. People still need help and she identified this early. Not only did she live for this organization, but she put all of her passion, all her strength, all of her knowledge, know-how, all of her prayers and everything into that organization.
If you ever need an example of life well-lived you’d only have to look at her very quiet services to the community. She didn’t go out for fancy. She asked: “how can I make life better for someone”? She made my life better. I challenged everyone who’s ever come in contact with her to say otherwise.
She herself was an immigrant. I believe she immigrated to Canada in the early 80’s (it might even be the 70’s) from Antigua. She made Canada home and she made sure those who came here had the ability to do the same.
I think our community lost an amazing person. Unsung hero of all immigrants, not only women. I am a male and she helped me. She went to battle for me. Anytime I needed her, she would always go battling and it wasn’t with a drop saw. It was like come let’s negotiate. I think there is real power when someone can say let’s talk and everybody stops and listens.
Chad Dubeau
Chad is a professional Information Specialist and a Master Graduate in Library and Information Science.
The woman who inspires me is my wife, Chantale. She is the mother of our three children, and an elementary school teacher.
We met as undergrads in university and at that point I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. Chantale already had plans to become a teacher so I followed her on that journey. I later discovered that the teaching profession wasn’t for me but the things that I experienced as a teacher definitely reframed my entire perspective in life. Chantale is still a teacher and having been one, I can truly appreciate what a difficult and all-consuming profession it is. I have so much respect for teachers.
The moment that stands out for me was when we both applied for a job to teach English in Asia. We had spent the last 2 years learning Japanese and Chantale’s competence in the language was vastly superior to mine, so I was nervous. After the interview we compared notes and our experiences couldn’t have been any more different. I was treated as a professional and the majority of the questions they asked me were about my qualifications for the job. Chantale’s interview on the other hand revolved mostly around asking questions pertaining to her social life and how she would handle situations with male coworkers. It left her flustered and insulted and although she was much more qualified for the job, I was offered the position and she wasn’t. I didn’t accept that job. Although we realize that there were some cultural factors at play here, it was still reprehensible behavior in our eyes.
From a family life standpoint, we’ve never really prescribed to what would be considered traditional gender roles. Tasks are handled based on availability and skill sets. I love cooking, so I prepare most of the meals and really enjoyed bottle feeding the kids when they were infants. I get nervous driving in unfamiliar locations so my wife does most of the driving on trips. She has a great sense of direction and remains calm under pressure. It’s about playing to your strengths, knowing your limitations, and supporting your partner in any way that’s required regardless of if that fits within traditionally prescribed gender roles.
Amir Bizimana
Amir Bizimana
Amir is an economics graduate turned front-end developer.
When it comes to inspiring women, I have quite a few in mind that have inspired me over the years, but one woman that inspires me everyday is my mother. I am constantly in awe of her resilience and patience.
She has impacted my life in more ways than I could ever tell and I would not be the kind of person I am today without her.
As for a woman that has taught me about partnerships between men and women I think of Amanda Seales. Through a recent interview, she spoke on the fact that women’s rise does not represent the fall of men. She expressed that there are simply new dynamics that come with women being more empowered and attaining equality, that men must adapt to. Women increasingly don’t need men and she expressed that now it revolves about wanting to be with a man as opposed to needing one, she argued that “want” was more powerful than “need”. It was a really great perspective that made me think.
I have always seen women as equal in the workplace and still find it hard to believe that there is still such a thing as a gender wage gap. However, after that interview my perspective on partnerships between men and women has definitely been changing to accommodate these new dynamics.
Robert Chon
Robert is a Certified Human Resource Professionial.
The woman that has inspired me is my wife, she is an activist and environmentalist. She follows her morals even in the face of adversity and is socially conscious even in a world that makes it difficult for a woman to be heard.
In addition to all that she has brought to me and completed my life in our relationship, she has made me more open to different viewpoints and helped me learn about the issues. Without her, a lot of my views would be apathetic, but she has opened my eyes, and I am grateful for it.
Through her life, I have learned a great deal on women’s rights, on equality, and on partnership between men and women. She is a feminist and has involved herself in demonstrations and sharing of literature. I have learned so much from her everyday and see the passion she has for the issues.
She most definitely has changed my view on the role of women in our societies, and to a degree that I could have never done by myself.
Male Allies on Board – VoiceOasis Projects